(no subject)

I have an eval with a physical therapist tomorrow for the job at 9. I'm so nervous/excited/anxious I can't even think about sleep right now. For three years I've been looking into physical therapy and this would be the biggest foot in the door job I can get. Number one physical therapy practice. Mehhhh! I would give anything to work here. I will cry my eyes out of happiness after all the stress the past month and a half has been. I'm hoping october brings good things my way after an ultra shitty august and september.

(no subject)

I've been having different thoughts lately. Maybe its from seeing people dying alone or watching an elderly persons husband/ wife worry about them. I don't want to be that person dying alone or where no one knows I'm sick and in need of help for days. I used to think I never wanted marriage or kids because I don't want to be someone elses dissapointment like how my mother is to me. I used to act crazy how she did but everyday I'm moving farther away from everything that she is. She instilled in me that I need a man. Truth is that I don't need tyler. I see him as this wonderful blessing in my life that has changed who I am. I was a broken girl and now I'm not because of him. Its nice to have someone to take care of you but I want to give back in return. I never saw the purpose in marriage because it was so easily broken with my parents...and everyone else I know for that matter. Its not like we will love each other more or be less inclined to be unfaithful. Yet, I found myself looking at ty the other night while he was sleeping ( creeper status yes) and thinking to myself how much I would love to be married to him.